Thursday, November 18

Chapter 16

In Which We Begin to Explore the Role of
Poultry in Politics More Closely

What good are chickens in modern government, I mean, really?
If we begin to explore the idea of chickens in any branch of modern government, we are left with only two real options: IRS or FDA. Other than that, you can't really find a place for chickens.

Now, as to the "Great Rebellion" that almost happened with the bovine of the world, we begin to see that, though the chickens may have made good secretaries, they would be of very little actual value to the New Bovine Administration (NBA) as proposed by the Cows.

That was where the Great Rebellion failed: assignment of duties.
The bovines were organized and had many livestock followers (the sheep will follow anyone, and pigs are smart enough not to create waves), but they began to rely too heavily on the chickens, and the entire structure fell apart.

At first, the poultry division was merely in charge of typing memos, e-mail, and the like. The ferrets (who knew their way around) were in charge of distribution, and the goats were in charge of motivation. What ended up happening was the cows began relying too much on the chicken's ideas--which is a really bad idea since your average chicken has a brain the size of a pea--instead of being strong leaders. The ferrets were replaced by dogs who, though excellent carriers for the delivery system, got easily distracted by anything and everything, and major messages did not get carried out in time to co-ordinate strategic attacks in the United States and abroad.

Eventually, the cows realized the the Great Rebellion, though started strong, finished as a mere whisper instead of a war cry, and are now forced into mere subservience to their masters until another great leader arizes from among their ranks.


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